Sooo..... *creepy, old witch voice* You want to hear more of my crazy family? Since we started with the youngest, we'll work our way up to the oldest. So next youngest is Justin... Let's see... What's up with Justin that I really don't like?
He's addicted to Xbox. Even the original, before the 360 came out. Instead of helping in the orchard like he's supposed to, you can find him inside, screaming through his headphones, at the too-loud TV.
In the orchard, we're allowed breaks once in a while. Sounds fair, right? Our breaks vary with the different fruit, so I'll let you in on how they work:
Cherries: Everyone has their own bucket to fill, so every 2 buckets, you're allowed a 30 minute break. Sounds more than fair right? Well, Justin and Austin (my brother) shared a bucket, and when they filled 2, they took an hour break. To them, this seemed logical. Meanwhile, I don't take breaks, or I get lazy.
Apricots: Whoever picks the fastest gets to pick, and the others get to haul buckets to the pickers and pack. Justin thinks he should have a bucket person waiting the whole time, and we always have an extra for Grand-Father, and/or whoever has the fullest bucket. We also go by who's the oldest. The younger can fend for themselves.
Peaches: Everyone but Bill, Kris, Dad, and Grand-Father get to pick these (bigger hands = less bruises) Although Bill is usually packing. The rest of us are hauling buckets like mad, because if a picker is waiting with a full bucket, then they get grumpy easily. Justin fits in because he figures we only need three bucket haulers at a time (1 per picker, usually). What he always leaves out it that we need to 1. Make boxes 2. Organize the Trailer 3. Prepare lunch and dinner 4. Do water runs. I should also mention now that peaches demand many boxes. We make them continually, usually fifty before the quad rumbles up and all of our precious boxes are taken away, usually by a grumpy Justin, calling us lazy, and we should be working faster (he's the fastest box maker, but Austin and I are also pretty damn quick). Oh yeah, the boxes also need to be papered.
Back on topic, Justin is basically the testosterone over-loaded version of Joelle. Angered easily, violent when mildly provoked, and can't stand to lose a fight. OH WAIT, that's both of them! Focusing on Justin, I can't say much because I'm too busy avoiding him. If you've worked with him for a while, you'd know why. Basic bitchiness as well as being a spoiled S.O.B.
Austin is with him usually, as they're both dudes, doing "dude" things. Like building tree forts. Or bike jumps. Or even shooting tin cans, which I really like to do. Which reminds me of another issue with Justin: he's very sexist. According to Justin....
Girls should do all the work while he plays Xbox.
Boys should be the only ones wake-boarding (my guilty pleasure)
Girls should listen to everything he has to say and obey (I didn't even do this to start...)
Boys shouldn't have expectations in the area of cleanliness (Right now, I have none for him)
And finally, girls should make dinner, and it should be perfect every-single-fucking-time, and prepared in about 4 seconds (I managed to burn a microwave pizza a few weeks back....)
That's all I can think of for now. If you have anymore sexist stereotypes, feel free to add them in the comments. Points shall be awarded for creativity and originality.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Long Time, No See,
Clearly it's been a while since I last made a post... Well EXCUSE me if I forgot my password. Then forgot what I was going to say while I reset my password (this happened a few times). I'll give you the latest and greatest (not).
I'll start with last summer, but let me let you in on who's involved, one at a time.
The youngest is Joelle (Note: gets pissed off easily if her name is pronouced "Joel" as opposed to Jo-ELLE). She's my cousin, a little younger than me, and is turning 15 soon. But you would think she's a little younger, due to her height. Likes to dance competitively, and complains about how the competitions are all near her hometown (Hint: Olympics) as opposed to Italy, or France, as I hear the competitors come from all over the world (she's a spoiled bitch, and everything is handed to her on a silver platter). She's also very manipulative, and can hold a grudge on the slightest thing.
EX: (2 summers ago) I'm going to a friend's to help her out (she runs an Equestrian Daycamp) and this is the same day that Joelle is leaving (she was supposed to leave after dinner, I was going to be home at 3. When I get home, Joelle seems to ignore me, but when I catch her looking at me, all I see is anger. I go inside, and Diane (more on her later) is walking out of MY room carrying MY sheets to the laundry room. I ask her what she's doing, and she says I'm cleaning the sheets like I do every summer" which I know is bullshit, because she never did that before (at least to my room).
After they (cousins and their M+D) left, I asked my mom again why Diane was cleaning MY ROOM without permission. This is what she said (as far as I remember):
"Joelle was upset after you left, because she thought she was leaving before you came home, and you didn't say 'goodbye' to her."
The part of me NOT saying Bye? Absolute crap. I came outside, and told EVERYONE where I was going, and that I'd be home soon after lunch. I asked when The Cousins were leaving, and I was told "after dinner".
I also said "See you later"
So why was Diane fixing my room? Joelle had a temper tantrum, and basically destroyed my room. There were even hand-written letters from The Cousins, basically saying that they hated my guts because I forgot to say those two magic words.
Just to make things worse, that evening I received a text from Joelle: OMG i forgot to say bye to austin!!!!! telll him byee for mee pleeeez!! thx!
(Austin's my little brother, more on him later) That's another thing about Joelle and her family. After something significant happens, they pretend to forget about it as if that will make it all better)
This post helped me de-stress quite a bit. Although I'm still grinding my teeth and cracking my knuckles. I should go for a bike ride and go away for a while. Go visit another friend for a distraction. The perfect song to explain how I'm feeling? Not Ready To Make Nice -The Dixie Chicks
I'll start with last summer, but let me let you in on who's involved, one at a time.
The youngest is Joelle (Note: gets pissed off easily if her name is pronouced "Joel" as opposed to Jo-ELLE). She's my cousin, a little younger than me, and is turning 15 soon. But you would think she's a little younger, due to her height. Likes to dance competitively, and complains about how the competitions are all near her hometown (Hint: Olympics) as opposed to Italy, or France, as I hear the competitors come from all over the world (she's a spoiled bitch, and everything is handed to her on a silver platter). She's also very manipulative, and can hold a grudge on the slightest thing.
EX: (2 summers ago) I'm going to a friend's to help her out (she runs an Equestrian Daycamp) and this is the same day that Joelle is leaving (she was supposed to leave after dinner, I was going to be home at 3. When I get home, Joelle seems to ignore me, but when I catch her looking at me, all I see is anger. I go inside, and Diane (more on her later) is walking out of MY room carrying MY sheets to the laundry room. I ask her what she's doing, and she says I'm cleaning the sheets like I do every summer" which I know is bullshit, because she never did that before (at least to my room).
After they (cousins and their M+D) left, I asked my mom again why Diane was cleaning MY ROOM without permission. This is what she said (as far as I remember):
"Joelle was upset after you left, because she thought she was leaving before you came home, and you didn't say 'goodbye' to her."
The part of me NOT saying Bye? Absolute crap. I came outside, and told EVERYONE where I was going, and that I'd be home soon after lunch. I asked when The Cousins were leaving, and I was told "after dinner".
I also said "See you later"
So why was Diane fixing my room? Joelle had a temper tantrum, and basically destroyed my room. There were even hand-written letters from The Cousins, basically saying that they hated my guts because I forgot to say those two magic words.
Just to make things worse, that evening I received a text from Joelle: OMG i forgot to say bye to austin!!!!! telll him byee for mee pleeeez!! thx!
(Austin's my little brother, more on him later) That's another thing about Joelle and her family. After something significant happens, they pretend to forget about it as if that will make it all better)
This post helped me de-stress quite a bit. Although I'm still grinding my teeth and cracking my knuckles. I should go for a bike ride and go away for a while. Go visit another friend for a distraction. The perfect song to explain how I'm feeling? Not Ready To Make Nice -The Dixie Chicks
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